zetasyanthis: (Default)
CW: Suicidal Imagery

----------------------------------------

I never knew what rest meant.
I never know I was tired.
I never knew past exhaustion,
and through anxiety, so wired.

I never knew what rest meant.
I never knew without hope.
I never knew past the things I can't see,
a future without a rope.
zetasyanthis: (Default)
Being afraid, all the time,
Being afraid, forever, 
Being afraid, in your mind,
and labelled "disturbed" forever.

Being unseen, and being afraid,
and being forever lost,
We need each other; we need ourselves
to cope with darkest loss.

To hope for days with sunshine new,
we know not how to do.
We only know death's siren call
telling us what to do.

We hide our hearts
We hide our souls,
We hide our heartstrings too.
We do not know how to come forth
and share our terror too.

Poem: Home

Oct. 29th, 2021 09:05 pm
zetasyanthis: (Default)
I never expected to find home in a psych ward,
Home in a very very unknown place,
Home in ev'ry heartbeat, ev'ry shadow,
Home in ev'ry crying, sobbing face,

Home, for every tear that I will shed here,
Home, for each and every drop I would,
Home, for ev'ry death I ever think of,
Home, for ev'ry death I wish I could,

Home, for all the reasons that it shouldn't be,
Home, for all the reasons that it should,
Home, for ev'ry reason you can think of,
Home, for ev'ry reason that you would.
zetasyanthis: (Default)
CW for suicidal imagery.

--------------------------------------------------
I know people crying, weeping.
I know people, dying, same.
I know people with my faces.
I know people with my names.

Should I weep for silence loudly,
Should I cry for hopeless depths,
Should I die on worlds so lonely,
that I choke on my last breath.

Should I die by silence, weeping,
Should I die because of plans,
Should I die by endless bleeding,
I will die by my own hands.

I will die in brutal terror.
I will die in trauma, deep.
I will die in frantic heartbeats,
surging crimson, bloody creek.

As I weep inside for pleasure,
As I weep for blessed death,
I will weep for sex so sick and sweet,
it fin'lly gives me rest.

I will die in brutal terror.
I will die in deep despair.
I will die forever hopeless.
I will die because I care.

I will die because of hope-lost.
I will die because I dared.
I will die because I hoped and dreamed
that my mom would just care.

I die 'cause she'd never see.
I die 'cause she refused.
I die 'cause she'd not separate
her child from her views.

I die 'cause I felt worthless.
I die 'cause I felt used.
I die 'cause I felt dead inside.
I'm hung from twisted noose.

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Zeta Syanthis

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